The voice in your head which says “Can’t so Don’t” is a lying *******

Dear reader. 500. Five hundred. Five-oh-oh.

Do you know the voice in your head which says “Can’t so Don’t” is a lying ******”? Do you have a goal? An idea you’re trying to make a reality? A project you want to complete? Once I get going the words just come without effort but they never reach the screen because often I just don’t start. There’s a voice inside that sneers sarcastically any time I try to get something done.

It says:

Of course you can’t
It won’t make things better
This won’t work
There’s no point

It’s the voice of wasted weekends, the sound of opportunities lost and forgotten, of talents unused, of “long summer days spent indoors”. Of missed appointments, caught glances never pursued, maybes and never in a month of Sundays. How I hate it.

I’ve had odd periods of “down” days all my life. And when I say down I mean depressed.

Depression isn’t the opposite of feeling happiness. Depression is the absence of feeling. How can i explain. Black isn’t a colour of the rainbow, it’s the absence of all colour and all light. Silence isn’t two opposite resonating soundwaves cancelling each other out it’s the absence sound. Depression is like that the scene in the old movies where the guy gets shot and he’s like “Oh you got me and he does that sad broken pirouette and slumps against the wall  and slowly slides to the floor. It’s a slow puncture of the soul. You deflate as the energy and momentum leaks out of you.

So to keep my momentum going I just don’t stop. It’s the only way to beat the difficulty of the starting.

So as of today my aim is to write 500 words a day. I’m aiming to do it every day but I know that’s going to be tough so forgive me If I don’t always make it especially in the early days.

How are you with pull-ups?

(I go off on tangents when I’m trying to explain things but don’t worry I usually get to the point eventually)

OK so this time last year I couldn’t do a single pull-up. Not one. I’d try and try and I could not lift my weight. it was an effing embarrassment. So you know what I did. I stopped. Guess what? Two months later I still couldn’t do a single pull up. No surprise there. But then I started using a  power band to take 1/22 my weight. First one at a time, than five then ten. Then a lighter band, same again. Then I was doing it. pull-up after pull-up. You start. The secret to getting there is to start. And then I stopped. I went on holiday and when I cam back I was on a different workout Then I had some time off from the gym over the new year. Sure enough back in the gym last week. Went to the pull up bar abnd I couldn’t manage one.

Rule number one – start. Rule number two – don’t stop.

So I need to start. 500 words a day every day. If I want to write for a living, publish novels and articles I need to write every day. I’ve picked up on a good kindle book on the subject and I recommend it to anyone and everyone. I’ve decided to aim to write every day. No matter what and start pulling my weight.

(Blogging 101, Day Six: Write to Your Dream Reader)

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4 thoughts on “The voice in your head which says “Can’t so Don’t” is a lying *******

  1. Yep. I sure understand what you said about depression. Saw a painting once of a woman’s eye. She was crying. The painting itself was black and white, but the tears coming out of her eye were a rainbow. That picture was the perfect description of depression for me. When I’m depressed (which I am now and then) it’s like I cry all the color out of me.

    “Of course you can’t It won’t make things better…” That’s a load of crap. Doing anything positive will make a person better. And you write beautifully.

    Like

  2. Tenacious! In the running community they often say the hardest part of the run is putting your shoes on…. aka starting. But once you get going, you know there’s nothing else you’d rather be doing. Writing is like that. Write on, my friend, write on.

    Liked by 1 person

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