Writing 101 Day 17: #OnRepeat – No Surprises


Today’s Prompt: We all have anxieties, worries, and fears. What are you scared of? Address one of your worst fears.
Today’s Twist: Write this post in a style distinct from your own.

Who’s more afraid of fire. Someone who’s been badly burnt or someone who just dreams about getting burnt?

There is learned fear and unlearned fear and both are toxic. Two children both afraid of being beaten. One child is beaten every day and is afraid when ever the next beating is due.Then there is the fear of the other child who sees the pain of the other child and fears that one day it will be him instead.

FEAR noun – a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. (Dictionary.com)

“What are you scared of?”
“What have you got?”

Seriously though.

Everything. Life itself. In fact, living. If we can separate getting by and surviving from actually living then sure why not.

Failure. The fear that taking a leap of faith will leave you at the bottom of a canyon.

That’s the fear I’m overcoming, It’s what stands between anyone and their true potential, their dreams, becoming the best they can be, The fear that this is as good as it gets and anything you try to do to make things better will be counter productive. The fear that it will get worse if you try to make it better.

It’s a learned fear from childhood which has become an unlearned fear as an adult. Years of failure growing up. Failure to achieve, failure to make friends, failure to find love, failure to connect. An adult who has only known failure and is afraid to try one more time.

“What if no-one wants to read anything I write?
“What if she rejects me?”
“What if I never find my way?”

The path to hell..NO HELL ITSELF IS PAVED WITH “WHAT IF”

Have you ever had a serious knee injury? Back strain? Tennis elbow? Was it agony when you moved? You stopped moving it? Awkwardly held, walking with a limp, scared to reach for a mug on the desk because of that shooting pain? It takes you two or three tries before you’ll even try because you can almost feel the pain before it happens.

Now imagine that pain is in your soul, your psyche, your sense of self.

Off on a tangent – Depression and fear go together like bad diet and diabetes. The two often are part and parcel. They can exist apart but often when one is cured the other is alleviated. Until quite recently I think that would have been the reality if my soul had been answering instead of my head. I am adept at telling people what they want to hear. I’ve spent almost my entire life lying to myself, I didn’t even realise how often I lie to other people. “I’m fine” is the lie I’ve repeated almost everyday of my life. I suppose it goes withhout saying that one lie leads to another.

“I can’t make it, I’m busy”
“She’s not my type”
“Its not my scene”
“I love my job and I’d like to progress further in this career”

Lies, Lies all lies.

The epiphany that you have been living in fear is literally the moment you wake up from a nightmare. Angst and self-delusion are the soporific that keep your eyes closed to reality.

The less f*cks you give, the less sh*t you take – the more you’re capable of.

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16 thoughts on “Writing 101 Day 17: #OnRepeat – No Surprises

  1. If I had to choose my favorite line from your post, I wouldn’t be able to because I would have to highlight your entire post. Fears stemming from childhood, getting so accustomed to saying you are fine to everyone that you are numb to the truth…Awesome post Smiley!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yep.

    “I’m fine” is probably the worst thing you can say to yourself or someone else because it immediately blocks off the path to getting better.

    I can identify with everything here. Excellent post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Depression and fear and fear and depression…part is parcel indeed!

    But this line right here:
    “The less f*cks you give, the less sh*t you take – the more you’re capable of.”

    I need this on a tshirt!

    Bravo!

    Like

  4. “I can’t make it, I’m busy”
    “She’s not my type”
    “Its not my scene”
    “I love my job and I’d like to progress further in this career”

    Lies, Lies all lies.

    BEST. LINES. EVER.

    Take a bow, sir, take a bow.

    Liked by 1 person

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