Day Nineteen: Don’t Stop the Rockin’
Today is a free writing day. Write at least four-hundred words, and once you start typing, don’t stop. No self-editing, no trash-talking, and no second guessing: just go. Bonus points if you tackle an idea you’ve been playing with but think is too silly to post about.
I want you to let it all hang out. So does writer Anne Lamott. At the risk of turning Writing 101 into an Anne Lamott fan club, no one motivates me the way she does. Every time you sit down to write and think your idea is too stupid, too uninteresting, too random, or too unoriginal to be committed to the page, let Anne give you a gentle but firm nudge:
The rational mind doesn’t nourish you. You assume that it gives you the truth, because the rational mind is the golden calf that this culture worships, but this is not true. Rationality squeezes out much that is rich and juicy and fascinating.
Clears throat. Pleased take your seats. The word storm is about to begin.
Are you not entertained
Holds laptop like Captain Americas’s shield “Internet Assemble!”
“To the internet – there’s not a moment to lose.”
“Hot diggedy daffodil they’re real!”
Makes motion like looking into the distance – “I can see you but I can’t see your point”
The Young Vic theatre is full of old people making pointed judgements about young actors
“I might think your ass is a hot fudge Sunday but that don’t make it so. Actually now I think about it…”
Water pours out of your account like a tap turned full on come payday and then you turn it down to a trickle by halfway through the month
At work – “You couldn’t pay me to be here. Allow me to rephrase that…”
I’m going to drop this harder than Zain Malik leaving One Direction
I’m Smiley. That’s a lie but it’s a lie with its boots on and its got a head start on your opinion.
F*ck you in the first instance and f*ck the high horse you rode into town on in the second instance
Asthma, eczema and allergies have kept me young. Allow me to explain. Asthma growing up meant that I never smoked and nothing ages the body like smoking. Eczema and dry skin meant that I’ve been moisturising my entire life and that keeps the skin young. Allergies mean I have always watched what I eat and I have never lived on processed foods. Go figure.
No-one needs to get married. We need sex, we need succour, we need stability, we need to know the person we’re emotionally reliant upon has pledged to be there when we get home. I want to get married so that my needs are taken care of.
Nothing can be understood without being defined and nothing can be defined without being named.
On Star Trek how come no-one on the bridge ever looked at Captain Kirk or Picard or whomever with a what the f*ck look whenever they said “Steer towards the star” or some other crazy move
I would rather get f*cked over working for Marvel than be a success working for DC. DC are a directionless mess. F*ck DC.
Nothing on the internet goes away, that’s going to come back and bite me on the d*ck one day
If I was having regular sex I don’t know what I would be or where I would be because that would be satisfaction and satisfaction changes a man’s thinking for good or bad.
I want to learn how to skateboard, play the guitar and speak Spanish. I may be wrong but those aren’t linked.
It feels like there’s a person called Smiley reaching back from the future trying to change the past to create himself.
I am absolutely prepared to take smart drugs or anabolics that help me reach my full potential. The Olympics should have a drug free and a drug taking handicap system. That way if you’re caught doping without declaring it – immediate lifetime ban from ALL competitions. I have no doubt that most of the records set in the last ten years had some sort of chemical assistance whether legal or illegal so lets just run with it so to speak
I don’t think I’m still supposed to be living in Britain. This country feels like a hospice for a dying state of mind
You know that bit in sci-fi shows when theyre going full whack and its not enough and someone says disengage safety protocols?
That’s me – but my safety protocols have NEVER worked
If I can pass for 30 I’m 30. Why the hell would I do otherwise? 40 year old men aren’t as dynamic or adventurous as 30 year olds. You change your outlook, you change, your mind. You change your mind – you change YOU
Im done loving my job, it doesn’t love me and it never has.
DLZ f*cking rocks. What does it say about Breaking Bad that the music alone would make it amongst the best television ever. Its like a compilation of every band you should name drop at a party to make people think you’re cool and interesting
Changing yourself, self-transformation is a benign form of murder / suicide
I’ve never been stopped by the police as an adult. That fact alone means I’m different from and unable to understand the experiences of other black men around me
I’m a hole in the world
I’m a whole in the weird
Seven years of Kempo Jujitsu meant I was skilled enough to walk into a crowded room of well built men, close the door behind me and kill everyone in the room with my hands and feet.
I was like the AK47 of hand to hand fighting.
When you absolutely positively got to kill every motherf*cker in the room!
Yet if I had to choose between death for myself or taking a life on my account and not to protect someone else I would embrace death without hesitation or complaint.
My back hurts quite a lot. I had bad gout for a while. I will never be frustrated with any old or injured person who has to walk slow.
Why do I have to give £2 to a homeless person. Why can’t I walk past. Because I’m Smiley Yearwood.
Why can’t someone else help that person up the stairs with their luggage. Because I’m Smiley Yearwood
Why can’t someone else help the old woman cross the street. Because I’m Smiley Yearwood.
Defintely an ass man. And a boobs man. And a face man. And a hips man. And a voice man. And a Hair man. Hot diggedy daffodil look at the elbows on her!
African American is an identity. Black British is an identity crisis.
I’ve worked out a way to create incredibly powerful computer chips that could transform the world. I’ve written it down on a postcard and I’m using it as a bookmark in a book I’m not reading at the moment
If you want to know if you’re truly faithful ask yourself this. If the most beautiful desirable person you’ve ever fantasised about in the world offered you oral sex for kicks and giggles, tell no-one etc – would you?